40 Plus Dating in Britain: The Landscape
The 40 plus dating scene in the UK has grown significantly over the past decade. Millions of singles are actively looking for meaningful connections in midlife.
| Category | Details |
|---|---|
| 40+ Singles in UK | 7-10 million (divorced, widowed, never married) |
| Most Active Age Groups | 40-49 (45%), 50-59 (35%), 60+ (20%) |
| Popular Platforms | eHarmony, Match, Ourtime, SilverSingles |
| Avg. Subscription Cost | £15.99-£39.99/month |
| Gender Split | 48% male, 52% female |
| Relationship Goals | Long-term (65%), companionship (25%), casual (10%) |
| Avg. Time to Match | 2-6 weeks for compatible connections |
| Success Rate | 40% find relationships within 6 months |
Why Dating at 40+ Is Different (And Better)
Dating in your 40s means you actually know what you want. No more trying to fit into someone else's idea of a perfect partner or pretending you're fine with things that bother you.
| Dating in Your 20s/30s | Dating After 40 |
|---|---|
| Still working out what matters | Know exactly what you're looking for |
| Worried about what others think | Trust your own judgment |
| Red flags get second chances | Deal-breakers are deal-breakers |
| Career stress bleeds into relationships | Work-life balance already sorted |
| Learning to communicate honestly | Say what you mean from day one |
| Focus on who they could become | Accept people as they actually are |
You've been through enough to recognize genuine compatibility when you see it. The drama and uncertainty that felt normal in younger years just seems exhausting now.
Most people dating over 40 aren't looking to complete themselves - they're looking for someone who fits into the life they've already built.
Navigating Common 40+ Dating Scenarios
Everyone comes to 40 plus dating from a different place. Some are divorced, some widowed, others never married but now feeling ready.
Your situation shapes how you approach dating, but it doesn't determine whether you'll find someone great.
Dating After Divorce or Loss
There's no magic number for how long to wait before dating again. You're ready when thinking about your ex doesn't dominate your thoughts and you genuinely want to meet someone new.
You can talk about your past relationship without getting emotional or bitter
You've got your own routine and feel comfortable being single
Meeting someone sounds exciting rather than terrifying
You're dating because you want to, not because you're lonely
If you have kids, wait several months before introducing anyone new
Be upfront about your situation from the start with potential partners
Rushing into dating before you're ready usually leads to rebound relationships that don't last. Take your time.
Never Married and Dating at 40+
Not being married by 40 doesn't mean something's wrong with you - it means you've been living your life on your own terms.
| What People Assume | What's Actually True |
|---|---|
| "You're too fussy" | You have standards and won't settle |
| "You can't commit" | You commit to what matters - work, friends, family |
| "You've missed your chance" | You're just getting started on your terms |
| "You're stuck in your ways" | You know yourself well enough to spot compatibility |
| "No one was good enough" | The timing or person wasn't right yet |
Dating at 40+ when you've never married means you're looking for someone who respects your independence and brings something genuine to your already fulfilling life.
Best 40 Plus Dating Platforms in the UK
Dating apps designed for younger people can feel like a waste of time when you're over 40. Platforms that focus on 40 plus dating make finding serious matches much easier.
| Platform | UK 40+ Users | Age Focus | Monthly Cost | What Makes It Different | Match Quality |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Match | 850,000+ | 35-55 | £24.99 | Member events, detailed profiles, verification checks | High - most want relationships |
| eHarmony | 650,000+ | 40-60 | £39.99 | Compatibility matching, guided messaging | Very high - long-term focused |
| Ourtime | 500,000+ | 50+ | £18.99 | Only for mature singles, simple to use | High - age-appropriate matches |
| SilverSingles | 320,000+ | 50+ | £32.99 | Personality test, daily curated matches | Very high - serious members |
| Elite Singles | 400,000+ | 35-55 | £29.99 | Education-focused, professional members | High - 85% university educated |
| Telegraph Dating | 220,000+ | 45-65 | £27.00 | British-focused, reader community | High - UK cultural fit |
Paid platforms tend to attract people who are genuinely serious about finding someone. Free apps often mean endless browsing without actual dates.
eHarmony or SilverSingles work well if you want the site to do the matching for you
Match is good if you like meeting people at actual events, not just online
Ourtime keeps things simple if you're 50+ and want to avoid younger users
Elite Singles attracts professionals who value education and career success
Real Success Stories: 40 Plus Dating UK
Here's what happened for some people who decided to give 40 plus dating a proper go in the UK.
"I got divorced at 43 with two teenagers and honestly thought that was it for me. Joined Match mostly because a friend pushed me to. Met David who's also divorced with kids. We both get the whole co-parenting thing, so there's no drama about cancelled plans or weekend schedules. Two years in and it just works."
"Never married, focused on building my business instead. Always wondered if I'd left it too late. Found Emma on eHarmony - she's also never married and built her own career. We're both financially stable and emotionally sorted. Wish I'd met her years ago, but maybe we both needed to be this age to make it work."
"Lost my husband three years ago. Wasn't looking to replace him, just didn't want to be alone forever. Met Robert on SilverSingles - he's widowed too. We understand grief isn't something you get over, but we've found happiness again. Didn't think that was possible at my age."
"Travel constantly for work, so needed someone who wouldn't mind that. Elite Singles matched me with Claire who also travels for her job. We meet up when we're both in the UK and travel together when we can. Getting engaged next month. Sometimes unconventional works."
"Felt weird about online dating at first. Ourtime made it easier because everyone's around my age. Met Graham at one of their events. Both our kids are grown, so we've got freedom we didn't have in our 30s. Making up for lost time now."
Making Your Profile Stand Out at 40+
Your 40 plus dating profile should sound like you actually talk, not like you're writing a job application. Authenticity matters more than trying to impress everyone.
| What Actually Matters | Why |
|---|---|
| Being honest about where you are in life | Attracts people in similar situations |
| Recent photos that look like you | No surprises when you meet in person |
| Mentioning actual hobbies and interests | Gives people something real to talk about |
| Saying what you want relationship-wise | Saves time with wrong matches |
| Showing you're actually ready to date | People can tell if you're not over your ex |
Use photos from the past year - clear face shots and at least one full-length photo
Smile naturally - you don't need to look like a model, just approachable
Include a photo of you doing something you enjoy, not just posing
Skip the group shots where people have to guess which one is you
Avoid heavy filters - they make people think you're hiding something
Write like you're telling a friend about yourself. "I spend weekends hiking in the Peak District and trying new pubs" beats "I'm adventurous and outgoing."
Start with what you actually enjoy doing right now in your life
Mention 2-3 real interests with enough detail to start a conversation
Describe the kind of relationship you're after, not just traits you want
End with something easy to respond to about your interests
| Don't Do This | Do This Instead |
|---|---|
| List everything you don't want | Focus on what you're looking for |
| Apologize for being over 40 | Own your age and what you bring |
| Use vague descriptions | Give specific examples |
| Hide that you have kids | Mention them - it's part of who you are |
| Write your life story | Keep it to 150-200 words |
Being upfront about your life - kids, divorce, career - means you match with people who are fine with all of it.
Dating Confidently in Your 40s and Beyond
Confidence in 40 plus dating comes from knowing what you want and being comfortable saying it. First dates don't need to be fancy - they just need to let you talk properly.
Coffee in the afternoon - easy to leave if it's not working, low pressure
Walk in a park or along the river - easier to talk when you're not staring at each other
Museum or gallery - gives you something to discuss besides job and divorce
Early dinner on a weeknight - shows you're both busy but making time
Say what you mean from the start. At this age, nobody has time for games or trying to guess what someone wants.
| Timeline | What Usually Happens |
|---|---|
| First few weeks | Regular messages, 1-2 dates to see if you click |
| 1-2 months | Weekly dates, talking about real stuff not just small talk |
| 3-4 months | Deciding if this is exclusive, meeting each other's friends |
| 6+ months | Serious talks about the future, maybe meeting family |
Fitting dating into your actual life takes some planning when you've got work, maybe kids, and everything else.
Set aside specific time for checking profiles and messaging - maybe during your commute or lunch break
Be clear about when you're available - no point pretending you're free when you're not
One good date a week beats rushing through several mediocre ones
When it gets serious, bring them into your regular life instead of keeping dating separate
Dating in your 40s means doing it on your terms. Whether you want companionship, a serious relationship, or something in between - you're old enough to know what works for you and confident enough to go after it.
FAQ
Is 40 too late to find love in the UK?
Not at all - millions of UK singles over 40 are dating successfully, and many find relationships within their first year on dating platforms.
Which dating sites work best for British 40+ singles?
Match and eHarmony are most popular for serious relationships, while Ourtime and SilverSingles cater specifically to 50+ daters.
How long should I wait after divorce before dating?
Most people wait 6-12 months, but you're ready when you can think about your ex without strong emotions and genuinely want to meet someone new.
Should I mention my children on my dating profile?
Yes - being upfront saves time and attracts people who are comfortable dating someone with kids.
How is dating different in your 40s compared to your 20s?
You know what you want, communicate directly, and don't waste time on incompatible matches - the clarity makes dating simpler.
Martin Hughes
Martin is a freelance writer from Bristol who started covering dating and relationships after navigating his own divorce at 44. He's spent the past eight years talking to singles across the UK about modern dating, turning their real experiences into practical advice that actually helps.
